where does the pee come out of this thing
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
