so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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