Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize