covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
