We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dick very happy bro
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
