Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
