yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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