It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
