she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
