you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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