The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
