i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
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