You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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