Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
