She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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