You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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