i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
