if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
