I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
