When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
