Can i not drive my cunt home
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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