I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
