Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
