There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
