taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
