i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
