I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
