Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
