My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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