hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
