plz talk dirty to me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize