Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
