you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
