But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
