Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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