She's JV to your varsity
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
