That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I love having hate sex.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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