Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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