Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
