You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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