Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
