totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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