I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
