Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
