Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
