the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Floor bacon is actually really good
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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