Soap is not a condiment
Your dad touched me again.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
