I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
look no pants
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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