I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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