oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
