Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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