The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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