He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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