I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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