I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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