____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
