quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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