he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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