Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
