Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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