Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
