I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
