Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
