Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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