I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
