I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
