Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
