The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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