I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
